In this article, learn effective strategies for managing employees with a high psychological safety need for esteem in the corporate world. Maximize their potential and boost team performance by understanding the psychological safety need for Esteem.

In the corporate world, I’ve always wondered why some people wear a suit and tie every day, while others dress in casual, sometimes worn-out clothes. These choices made me curious: were the suit-wearers trying to impress others or just enjoying dressing up? Were the casually dressed being frugal, or did they lack self-respect?

After tactfully asking some people about their choices, I found both groups had good reasons. Suit-wearers dressed up for themselves and others, while those dressing down had valid reasons, but none that pointed to low self-respect.

I realized these differences went deeper into how our brains work. People who always want to present themselves in the best possible light are similar to those who always need to be right, like to win, or present perfect images on social media. These behaviors stem from a need to feel elevated in the social hierarchy.

We call this “Esteem,” but it’s not the typical esteem we think about. The type of Esteem I am talking about is an emotional trigger, hence there is low sensitivity to it and high sensitivity to it.

Esteem in Action

When I understood this, everything made more sense. People who didn’t care about having the best clothes or who weren’t competitive didn’t lack self-respect. They simply had a low need for feeling high in the social hierarchy. They’d say things like, “I don’t need to dress well to know I’m good at my job,” or “I’d rather be comfortable than compete in a fashion show.”

Interestingly, those with a high need for Esteem often judged those with a lower need. They’d say, “Doesn’t Dave know people judge him by the way he dresses?” or “I’d be embarrassed to leave the house like that.” Their comments showed that they were triggered by social status.

The Six Domains of Psychological S.A.F.E.T.Y.™ and Triggers of Human Behavior

This led me to a broader truth: while we’re all different, we share common triggers that influence our behavior and psychological safety. Neuroscience identifies six main triggers, summarized by the acronym S.A.F.E.T.Y.™

• Security: The need for predictability, consistency, and certainty (Change is bad).
• Autonomy: The desire to have control over one’s environment.
• Fairness: The intrinsic need for equitable interactions.
• Esteem: The need for self-respect and acknowledgment.
• Trust: The social requirement to belong to and protect those we deem “like us”.
• You: Your unique experiences, influences and goals

Each of these triggers lives on a continuum, and every individual has a different sensitivity to each. That level of sensitivity changes how you respond to the world around you, how you interact with others, and what habits you build in your life.

Managing Esteem in Relationships

Firstly, there is no such thing as a person who has no need for Esteem. Just because a person has a low need for it, does not mean they do not need it. It only means that they are less sensitive compared to others.

So, this advice can work with pretty much every human being on the planet, but it will be more critical in certain relationships compared to others.

1. Realize that people with high need for Esteem will literally suffer if they are made to look bad in public. So, if you are going to give critical feedback, do it in private.

2. Compliments are appreciated, particularly about a thing they are proud of. That means, at work, the annual bonus is important, and so is the title increase.  Both of these things recognize accomplishment and provide status.

3. Be careful about putting two people with high need for status in competition with each other, especially if they are supposed to be inside a team together. If you want them to compete, like if they are in a sales team, then this can be constructive for the company. But if they are on a product team or an HR team then this can be damaging. (Imagine a team where each member always needs to be right – disaster). It may be better to put a person with a higher need for Esteem together with a person with a lower need for Esteem in these other cases.

4. Help your team learn about their triggers. Learning and understanding makes people feel smarter and more self-aware, which increases their sense of status. Take the S.A.F.E.T.Y.™ Self-Assessment.

At the Academy of Brain-Based Leadership, we provide tools and workshops to help individuals and teams understand their triggers and manage their psychological safety for improved wellbeing and performance. Contact us to learn more about our workplace solutions.

We also offer a Psychological Safety Accreditation Program for Coaches, Consultants and Leaders, as well as an on demand Brain-based Leadership Certificate.

FAQs

How can I manage employees with a high need for Esteem?

Provide critical feedback in private, recognize their achievements, avoid unnecessary competition, and educate them about their psychological triggers.

Why do some employees not care about dressing up for work?

Some employees have a low psychological safety need for Esteem and do not feel the need to compete in social status through their appearance.

What are the six triggers of human behavior identified by neuroscience?

The six triggers are Security, Autonomy, Fairness, Esteem, Trust, and You (individual unique experiences).

What is the SAFETY Model?

Based on the latest neuroscience, the S.A.F.E.T.Y.™ Model describes six domains of threat or reward that are important to the brain. They are: Security, Autonomy, Fairness, Esteem, Trust and You.

Understanding the needs, rewards, motivations, biases, and stress triggers of each domain provides valuable insights, improving interactions, teamwork, and productivity while fostering a sense of safety and well-being in the workplace.

How can understanding Esteem improve team performance?

Understanding Esteem can help in managing team dynamics better, ensuring that individuals’ needs for recognition and respect are met, leading to increased motivation and performance.

What should I avoid when managing someone with high Esteem needs?

Avoid public criticism and unnecessary competition within the team, as these can negatively impact those with high Esteem needs.

Conclusion

In conclusion, managing someone with a high psychological safety need for Esteem involves understanding their triggers and ensuring their need for recognition and status is met. By providing feedback in private, recognizing achievements, and avoiding unnecessary competition, you can create a supportive environment that maximizes their potential and boosts overall team performance.

In the fast-paced and often stressful environment of modern workplaces, learning how to deal with emotional triggers at work is essential. Triggers occur when there is a violation to your psychological safety, causing the pre-frontal cortex—the higher brain responsible for complex thinking and decision-making—to be overridden by the older, more primitive brain.

Triggers can be anything from a critical email to an unexpected change in plans, causing strong emotional responses that impact our productivity and well-being. Trigger management involves getting the pre-frontal cortex back into the drivers seat to lessen the impact the trigger is having. Understanding what happens when we get triggered and how to manage these reactions is crucial for building personal resilience, navigating workplace relationships and increasing our overall happiness & performance at work.

How Psychological Safety Can Help

Psychological safety, a term popularized by Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson, refers to a belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes.

When we understand our own triggers and the emotional responses they provoke, we can better manage our reactions and maintain a more stable and productive work environment. This understanding is rooted in neuroscience, where recognizing and labeling our emotions can help reduce their intensity.

4 Effective Strategies to Deal with Emotional Triggers at Work

1. Label What’s Going On for You

When a trigger occurs, a good first step is to ‘label’ the emotion being experienced. Neuroscience research shows that naming emotions can help calm the brain’s emotional centers by creating distance between you and the emotion you’re experiencing. This shift allows for viewing the emotion as an experience rather than an identity.

For instance, if you receive an email criticizing your work, instead of reacting immediately, take a moment to acknowledge the feelings: “The emotions I’m experiencing are anger, upset, and frustration.” This simple act can significantly reduce the emotional charge and allow a more rational response.

Remember, it’s important to label the emotion rather than identify with it (e.g., say “I’m feeling angry” instead of “I am angry”).

There’s a great video by psychiatrist and mindfulness expert Dan Siegel called ‘Name It To Tame It’ that explains this concept in more detail.

2. Look at Things from Their Perspective

Quite often, our emotional triggers stem from taking things too personally. Shifting perspective to understand the other person’s viewpoint can be incredibly beneficial. Sometimes this can be hard in the moment, but by recognizing that “it’s not them, it’s their brain”, it can help depersonalize situations and reduce emotional responses.

Neuroscience tells us that when adopting a first-person perspective of someone else’s mindset, especially in written form, a different part of the brain is engaged, aiding in processing the situation more effectively.

Questions like, “What might this situation tell me about their fears and needs?” or “What could be going on for them right now?” can provide valuable insights, especially when the person’s traits or behaviors are particularly grating. It’s important to remember that they’re not wrong, they’re just different.

By empathizing with others, the intensity of emotional responses can be dampened down, allowing for a more understanding and compassionate approach to the situation.

3. Reappraise What’s Going On

Reappraisal is ‘rewriting the story’. It is consciously putting aside the negative interpretation that caused your trigger response and seeking other neutral or positive interpretations that may challenge your assumptions, beliefs and attitudes.

Consider what you can learn from the situation or how it might benefit you. For example, many people were triggered by the return to the workplace after COVID-19, feeling that their need for autonomy was being compromised.

By reappraising this situation to see the benefits of returning to the office—such as increased collaboration and the chance to strengthen team relationships—you can mitigate the negative emotional response. If autonomy is your trigger, look for ways to regain a sense of control, such as negotiating flexible start and finish times or negotiating a hybrid working agreement.

4. Understand Your Own Psychological Safety Needs

The S.A.F.E.T.Y.™ Model, developed by the Academy of Brain-based Leadership (ABL), identifies six domains of psychological safety: Security, Autonomy, Fairness, Esteem, Trust, and You. Understanding your own needs in these areas can help you navigate triggers more effectively.

ABL offers a free self-assessment that can provide insight into your psychological safety needs. By recognizing which domains are most relevant to you, you can take proactive steps to address and manage your triggers.

Conclusion

Or, if you’re interested in learning more about your psychological needs, complete our free S.A.F.E.T.Y.™ Self-Assessment to learn your top domain and consider upgrading your report and debriefing with a coach.

And, if you are a manager, leader, coach, consultant, or trainer, exploring our Psychological Safety Accreditation Program with us can further enhance your ability to create a safe and thriving workplace.